Category Archives: Melted Butter

Oprah Style

I can’t decide if this post’s title means I’m going to tell you about my favorite things (stop looking under your chair, there will be no giveaways. Despite my childhood beliefs, I’m not actually Oprah) or show you a bag of chips I ate, tell you about my regrets and then get Gayle to feed me salads on a yacht while I nap and Stedman moves my legs.

Maybe there’s something more doable in between. ‘Cause I don’t know Gayle or Stedman and I totally don’t have a yacht. Or know where to find one.

Ok, let’s forget ‘favorite things’ and the fact that my dinner last night consisted of taste testing chips (shut up, it was for science).

Real life things! I got sick again this week. I blame children. They’re always covered in jam and cooties. Mostly cooties.

 These are my favorite hot drinks for my least favorite times. Xiao’s blend from Peet’s (pricey but pretty damn perfect) and homemade ginger tea.

Fresh ginger tea is spicy and amazing and cheap. Peel a hunk of ginger and slice, chop or grate it into a pot, cover with multiple cups of water (about 1 cup water for every inch of ginger- this is a strong ratio and will seriously clear your sinuses), slowly bring to a boil, stock-like, for the most possible flavor, strain into cups with honey and lemon juice and breath in the steam. If you’re really sick throw in a crushed clove of garlic and a 1/2 tsp of cayenne pepper for every 2 cups of water- I start on the weaker end of the ratio with these additions.

When I’m extra lazy I just throw a few slices of ginger in a mug with honey, top it off with hot water and lemon juice. Works in a pinch. The real benefit of making a whole pot of the stuff is that you can just throw more water in once it’s gone and you’ll have a new, slightly weaker batch of tea in twenty minutes and your sick self won’t have to chop or peel again for days.

I’ve also been known to just drink hot water with lemon and honey. ‘Cause of how uncoordinated I get when sick and half asleep. Safety first!

I’m gonna backtrack a bit now.

But Rosie, why would you want to go backward?*

Because hot buttered grits with brown sugar is stupid good.

Are you guys eating grits yet? If you haven’t started yet… maybe you shouldn’t. It’s much harder not to eat grits constantly once you know how good they are.

But surely you’re making sundaes.

 You’d be bananas** not to.

And if you want to skip the scary sugar boiling thing I did last week, you can do what I did this week and make a small batch of Deb’s butterscotch sauce in the microwave. Yeah. I’m gonna tell you about this and trust you not to die immediately. You have self control, right?

You’ll need:

a microwave safe bowl

… a microwave

a spoon for stirring every minute or so

1 tbsp butter

2 tbsps dark brown sugar

2 tbsps heavy cream

a pinch of salt

a scant 1/2 tsp vanilla (sometimes I skip the vanilla and just use bourbon***)

Combine all ingredients except for the vanilla in your bowl, microwave for 3-4 minutes (until it has bubbled a bit and everything’s all copacetical), stopping and stirring every minute, add vanilla, stir, cool slightly and use a ladle to pour it into your face. Or just dump other sundae stuff into that same bowl. Or be nice and share as there should be enough for two. Or do like me and make a mini apple crisp and eat the entire thing in one night with ice cream and this microwavable miracle while sick like a hungry hungry fool.

 This is about 1/3 of said crisp. It had a crunchy oat and pecan laced topping and sweet and sour cinnamon covered fuji and granny smith apples underneath. It was glorious.

Hey. I made apple crisp the last time I was sick too. Weird. I developed a new habit!

You know what else happened the last time I got sick? A wonderful lady brought me bread. The bread she gave me this time had fruits and nuts in it.

 We covered that bread in this glorious stuff. It’s like smushed up marmalade made of ginger and I love it and I’m gonna put it in french toast with something creamy and die of joy.

That’s what’s gonna happen. With mimosas. ‘Cause we’re princesses.

So I guess I sort of do have a Gayle. Now all we need is a yacht.


*Does it freak you out how well I know your mind? The answer is yes.

**Yup. Still doing that. Just try and stop me. Because I can’t. Seriously. Help.

***Bourbon is totally my spirit animal.


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Filed under 'Cause I'm A Kid, Bourbon, Breakfast, Drinks, For the Sick, Girly, Heavy Cream, Ice Cream, Melted Butter

Beer Bread

The other night, I realized halfway through my second beer that I was in a rotten mood. Down in the dumps. Grouchy. Depressed. So, I, being my mother’s daughter, stopped drinking it. Coming from a family of alcoholics lead me to become a very cautious drinker. Partly because I know I can’t support an addiction. I can’t really afford much of anything right now. See, part of my crabs ridden mood that night was a result of my complete unemployment. Ok, I pick up enough side jobs to not be completely doomed, but I definitely don’t get a steady paycheck or collect unemployment (do not pass GO*). I’m working on fixing that but it’s slow going and a bit demoralizing to be bashed over the head with rejection.

I figure I’m gonna need something positive to balance things out.

So I’ll be here turning half empty bottles of beer into bread and telling you about it.

*I hate that Monopoly is in my mind. 

Beer bread!

This beer bread habit of mine began when I was sorting through different brews and stumbling upon plenty that I didn’t care for. The cast off’s either went into bread or something stewed. Or cake. But we’ll get into that some other time.

Beer bread is like Irish soda bread… minus the baking soda… and with a totally awesomely rich flavor. I tend toward dark beers in general but especially for breads because they add a bitter caramely-ness that I really like. Plus they’re pretty. But use whatever you’ve got around. It’ll all be good once it’s toasted and buttered.


Drink 6 oz of your, like, fifth favorite beer while the oven preheats to 375.

Grease a small loaf pan and melt 2 tbsp unsalted butter.

Sift together, or cheat and fluff with a fork, 1 1/2 cups flour (I used whole wheat pastry but all purpose or a whole wheat/a.p. mix would work too- if using self rising flour, omit salt and baking powder)

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1 1/2 tsp granulated sugar

Stir into the dry ingredients the other 6 oz of beer and 1 tbsp of butter. (If your beer didn’t start out as 12 oz… sorry… go open another one! Or add water, milk or buttermilk- if going with the latter, add a pinch or two of baking soda.)

The batter will be thick and a bit wet. Press into loaf pan, sprinkle with a pinch of salt and pour the remaining tbsp of butter all over the top.

Bake until golden brown and a skewer comes out clean- about 25-35 minutes (I rotated the pan halfway through, but that’s because my oven’s a butt. Know your ovens, people). Let cool for 10 minutes on a wire rack, then eat fat, toasted slices smeared with butter, cream cheese or broiled with a hunk of cheese on top and a bowl of soup.

P.S.- Quick breads are super versatile. Need to cut the sugar, salt or fat? Still tasty bread. Don’t want to use beer? Use, like, any other liquid. Quick breads are boss.

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